Reflections on Revoice 2019

This summer was my first time at Revoice. I streamed the sessions in 2018 and, like so many, witnessed the controversies surrounding the conference via social media. In 2019, I was able to attend in person. Unfortunately, I arrived late and had to leave a little early, but I did get to sit through a couple of workshops, participate in corporate worship, and deliver a plenary address.

What was it like? It was church in many respects. The larger sessions were steeped in worship songs, listening to personal stories or testimonies, and listening to a brief address. The quality of worship was reflected in the energy in the room- the heart-felt, love of and straining for God that can come from being authentic in community. It was sincere. The worship selections were curated by a talented director for this event. The entire event was emotionally moving. It was powerful.

I was struck by the patience and graciousness of the leadership and attendees of Revoice. As a group, they don’t want to be antagonistic to people who have been antagonist to them. They turn the other cheek. There are exceptions, I’m sure, but the prevailing view is one of creating an atmosphere that is mutually encouraging, gracious, and edifying.

Did I have any concerns? Sure. I had concerns. I had concerns that many young people have to leave this life-line of a conference and go back into truly difficult social and religious contexts where they often feel misunderstood and marginalized. Misunderstood by the mainstream LGBTQ+ community for their convictions and marginalized by the church for coming to terms with their enduring same-sex sexuality.

What did I talk about? I said “thank you.” I thanked the people in the room for living a costly obedience (however imperfectly) that has challenged me in my walk with God. I thanked them for how the decision to say “no” to something every day to say “yes” to something else developed in them a Christian character that matters, a personal Christian history of God’s faithfulness they can look back on as a source of encouragement that can strengthen their faith, and how these qualities could actually strengthen the church today just as it had strengthened my faith through the years.

What else did I do? I showed findings on the milestone events in identity formation from a new book about 300 celibate gay Christians and reflected on a couple of findings in particular: that the time between age of awareness of ones same-sex sexuality and age of first disclosure of this reality is about 7 years. Let that sink in. Seven years. This is a formula for shame. We contribute to that reality and then – take a moment to try to see this from their perspective – have the gall to tell those who finally share this journey with us that we want them to use terminology that works better for us than for them. I think that’s how many experience it.

I also noted that on measures of psychological distress and well-being, our sample was doing better than might be expected given the complex relationship they have with the mainstream LGBTQ+ community and the local (and online) Christian community.

That’s what I talked about. And when I say “talked about,” I mostly shared quotes from the people who took the time to share their lives with me. “Talking” was mostly “listening” and then just finding a way to relay their stories.

This was not an audience that is a “problem to be fixed”; they are a people to love and learn from and learn with. Their unique strengths forged in the uniqueness of their own experience could actually strengthen the church. Imagine churches that had better models of deep and abiding relationships, authenticity in sharing one’s journey, questions, and struggles, sensitivity to those on the margins, and who could actually humanize the issue- so its less an “issue” and more actual people that others know, love, and trust. What church have you been in that couldn’t grow in some of these areas? So we ought not reach down to them; we ought to reach across to them. My experience is that they will reach back.

Sexual Identity & The Question of Vocation

Vocation is an interesting word. It isn’t a word you hear tossed around that much today, outside of religious settings. Even there, the word has fallen out of common usage. If you google it, you get the idea that people have a resolve toward a career or activity of some kind: “a summons or strong inclination to a particular state or course of action; especially: a divine call to the religious life.”

I suppose dissertations could be written on the meaning and place of vocation in the life of the believer. I’m unable to get into all of those nuances, but I am intrigued by the word and its place in the life of the Christian. It certainly seems to entail purpose and meaning in ways that are often overlooked in many cultural discussions and debates about sexuality and sexual behavior.

In any case, I was invited to give a lecture series at Southeastern Baptist Seminary in the fall of last year. A part of that time together was giving a chapel address to the seminary students. I organized the chapel message around a letter that C.S. Lewis wrote to Sheldon and Davy VanAuken that raises the question of vocation.

NYWC in Atlanta

This week I’ll be joined by Julie Rodgers to speak at the National Youth Workers Convention (NYWC) in Atlanta. We did this earlier this fall in Sacramento. In California, we provided a 5-hour pre-conference workshop titled, “Sexual Identity and the Youth Minister: Walking with LGBT Youth.” We’ll do the same in Atlanta. We plan to go back and forth explaining research conducted through the Institute for the Study of Sexual Identity of some of the key considerations for Christian youth who are navigating sexual and gender identity questions. Julie will share from her own experience and connect the dots from what others tell us in surveys and interviews and the lived reality as someone who has been navigating this terrain for many years.

The developmental context is probably the most important thing I try to help youth ministers understand. There are specific milestone events that many LGBT adults identify as important in their own journey. We discuss those, as well as opportunities to explore meaning-making during this stage of life. We will also cover social support and healthy coping. We will try to stay practical and focused on the specific needs of those who are attending.

We also plan to open with a little data from a survey we conducted of youth ministers and how they approach the topic. There is a lot I could say about that study, but it was interesting the young people want to talk about sexual identity. They want to be able to approach youth ministers. As a youth minister, you don’t have to be a certain age or have certain life experiences or hold a certain theological position or have sufficient schooling/education for a young person to come to you. None of those things were connected to having youth come forward to share their same-sex sexuality or gender identity.

The second talk is an abbreviated version of the 5-hour talk. It is titled, “Teens and Sexual Identity.” This is a much less ambitious workshop that goes about 1.5 hours. We’ll discuss the conflict between religious identity (as a Christian) and sexual identity (in light of same-sex sexuality) that a percentage of young people experience. We will again discuss the context of identity development, as well as the messages that a young person hears about identity and community from their faith community and from the LGBT community.

Much of what we share comes from content published in Understanding Sexual Identity: A Guide for Youth Ministry (Zondervan). In fact, this book was written in conjunction with talks given at this same conference last fall. So if you are looking for information on the topic of sexual identity and Christian youth, you might find that book helpful.

APA in Washington, DC

This week is the 122nd Annual Convention of the American Psychological Association (APA). We are meeting in Washington, DC. I was just up there to work with the National Institute for Corrections on the various challenges that arise for incarcerated persons who are LGBTI. On this trip I will be co-chairing a symposium titled Integrating Identities – Spirituality, Religion, and Sexuality. The other co-chair is Joshua Wolff, a graduate of the Rosemead School of Professional Psychology and an emerging voice in LGBT studies in faith-based institutions of higher education among other areas of interest.

The papers presented here should be interesting. In addition to a study I will be presenting (co-authored with three students and research team members titled, “Experiences of Sexual Minority Students and Alumni in Faith-Based Higher Education”), Stephen Stratton (Asbury Seminary) and Janet Dean (Asbury University) will present a paper titled, “Identity Formation in Context: The Intersection of Sexual Identity and Religious Spiritual Identity.” They will be reviewing relevant themes from two previously-published studies of sexual and religious identity among Christian college students who are also sexual minorities.

The other two papers come from psychologists with expertise in LGBT issues. Glenda Russell (University of Colorado-Boulder) is presenting a paper titled, “Open and Affirming Congregation: Opening What? Affirming Whom?” Finally, Caitlin Ryan (San Francisco State University) is presenting a paper titled, “Beyond Either/Or: Helping Religious Families to Support Their LGBT Children.”

The two discussants (or colleagues who read the papers/PP slides in advance and comment on them and related themes they deem relevant) are John Gonsiorek (Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity) and Tamara Anderson (Biola University).

In addition to this symposium, we have two posters from the Institute for the Study of Sexual Identity on Thursday and Saturday. (A poster session involves displaying research findings and discussing them with other professionals.) The Thursday poster is titled, “What are Helpful and Unhelpful Resources to Religious Parents After a Gay Child Comes Out?” This should be interesting in light of Caitlyn Ryan’s presentation noted above and her work directing The Family Acceptance Project. The data we are presenting comes from a collaborative effort with The Marin Foundation and is based on interviews of Christian parents whose children had come out.

The Saturday poster is titled, “Youth Ministers: Attitudes Toward and Experiences with Sexual Minorities.” This poster presents data collected at two youth ministry events where attendees were invited to share their experiences with their churches and with sexual minority youth. This poster is one of several presentations we hope to have out in the next year or so on youth ministry and youth ministry education and LGBT issues facing the church.

There are many other exciting things happening at APA, but these are a few highlights of things I’ll be involved in.

 

 

Paradigm Shift Initiative on Sexual Identity

Earlier today I participated in what we call a Paradigm Shift Initiative on the topic of sexual identity. These are discussion-based exchanges in which we explore as a group interesting and challenging topics. Today’s topic dealt with the legal case in Florida in which the parents of a 14-year-old girl filed charges upon learning about an inappropriate relationship with an adult. In some ways it is a straightforward legal case in Florida, as the youth was a minor and the other person was an adult.

However, the case took a dramatic turn in that a national campaign has come about to garner support for the 18-year-old female charged in the case (her name is Kaitlyn Hunt). In part because the adult is a female, several groups representing the gay community also weighed in with support for Hunt. The group anonymous has also weighed in to support Hunt. Some folks have likened Hunt to Rosa Parks; many have not found that comparison to be all that accurate.

So this case was the topic today. We had representatives from law, divinity, and psychology present, as well as students from those programs. Some of the discussion early on was about the legal perspective, about what prosecutors do in cases like this, and so on. One question raised had to do with the appeal by the gay community to an equality paradigm (for marriage equality); does that mean that when the law is broken, there should be equality in terms of consequences? That was interesting and would seem to be at the heart of the accusation that the case is one based on discrimination. Interestingly, not everyone in the gay community views prosecuting this case as discriminatory. For example, the Examiner is reporting that the Vero Beach PFLAG has not gotten behind the charge of discrimination.

We have not been able to find where the charges brought against this unfortunate young lady are inspired by homophobia, or are in any way anti-LGBTQ. The cry of discrimination, unless more facts come out, does not seem to apply here. Some very simple research yields cases where heterosexual kids have been arrested and prosecuted under the same law.  – David McKinnon (Vero Beach PFLAG chapter)

The discussion then turned to psychological and emotional considerations surrounding adolescence, including the differences in maturity levels between a 14-year-old and an 18-year-old. We also discussed milestone events in sexual identity development, and how experiences can shape a person’s narrative or storied identity, including attributions and meaning-making. This raises questions about what sexual orientation is — are we discussing it as a fixed reality that is discovered (based on essentialism) or is a linguistic construct fashioned by society to name/label preferences (based on social constructivism)? That has been a matter of debate for years now and is unlikely to be resolved anytime soon.

There is also a clinical issue that arises in terms of working with a 14-year-old in a case like this. How does one navigate sexual identity questions in light of sexual experiences and meaning-making. The media attention would seem to only increase the challenges here. But even if that were not in play (the media circus), there would still be the question of how to provide services that allow a person to reflect on sexual identity questions in light of a range of considerations. One of the purposes of developing the Sexual Identity Therapy Framework was to offer some guidance in how that kind of exploration could be supportive with the goal mind of living a congruent life. In any case, time and patience are both friends of more mature decisions around sexual identity and behavior.

Then we turned to the church. The discussion included how youth ministry currently addresses this topic (or fails to address this topi). It was pointed out that when a church teaches, “Just stop being gay!” they end up making it very difficult for a sexual minority teen to know how to respond. To them, “being gay” is essentially having same-sex attractions or a homosexual orientation. They are unable to “just stop,” which often means their experiences go underground, which contributes to greater isolation and shame.

It was an interesting discussion, especially toward the end. As you can see, the Hunt legal case was really just the discussion starter, as we ended up taking it in a variety of directions that are relevant to church and culture today. We definitely needed more time to do the topic justice. I think they are planning on a Part B to follow-up.

Wheaton College & The CACTC

I will soon be teaching an intensive course at Wheaton College in Wheaton, Illinois. The course I teach is a graduate-level course titled Sexuality & Sex Therapy (I teach a similar course in my program.) It’s intensive because it is completed in just one week.

How is the course organized? We take the first couple of sessions to cover various perspectives on sexuality (i.e., theological, sociocultural, biological, and clinical). Then we discuss various presenting concerns, such as several of the sexual dysfunctions (e.g., dyspareunia, desire disorder), sexual addiction, the paraphilias, gender identity concerns, and so on.

While I am in the Chicago area, I will also provide a 2-hour training at the Chicago Area Christian Training Consortium (CACTC). The CACTC is an APA-approved pre-doctoral training program. That talk will be a 10-year review of the literature on various models of services for sexual minorities. I had completed a similar review that was published in Professional Psychology: Research and Practice in 2002. Hence the update on the past 10 years. In the context of that training, I will also provide a primer on Sexual Identity Therapy following the SIT Framework and develop more of how I provide SIT in my own practice.

In a couple of weeks I’ll be in New Orleans to speak to Chief Student Development Officers at CCCU institutions. The CCCU is the Council for Christian Colleges and Universities, and they are hosting a conference in New Orleans focused primarily on student development issues and concerns. Where do I fit in? Several years ago I was named senior fellow to conduct a study of sexual minorities at Christian colleges. That study was a collaborative project with Steve Stratton and Janet Dean (Asbury). It was published in 2009 in the Journal of Psychology and Theology.

Our research group got together again and joined with Mike Lastoria (Houghton) to conduct a similar study at more institutions. That study is currently under review, but I will present some of the findings from it at the CCCU event in a couple of weeks.

As a frequent consultant at CCCU-affiliated institutions, I will also provide addresses on concepts that have seemed relevant to those consultations – concepts like stewardship of sexuality and relating to others with “convicted civility.” it should be enjoyable and much better than the last trip to New Orleans (a symposium at the American Psychiatric Association that dealt with the sexual orientation change debates).

I was told by a friend to look for a New Orleans staple: alligator on a stick. (Frankly, I think I’d rather face the psychiatrists again…)

Update: Transgender Christians’ Experiences

The paper presentation on “Transgender Christians’ Experiences: A Qualitative Study” was earlier today. It went well. Trista and I went back and forth and discussed the various responses we received to questions about personal faith, relationship with God, religious coping activities, issues that arise in marriage, employment, etc. The day before the session, we were able to arrange to have a person in as a discussant who is transgender and Christian. She shared some of her own story and the challenges she has faced and choices she has made in response to gender dysphoria. Of course, these choices are not without consequences, and she was also able to share how some of her decisions had an impact on family members, local church experiences, and so on.

Although the audience was not large, those in attendance showed a genuine interest in the topic, and some had provided clinical services to this population. Most of the questions actually went to our discussant, which made a lot of sense, as she was quite open and transparent in sharing from her experience, and many in attendance probably have had few opportunities to interact with and ask questions of someone who has been sorting out gender identity questions and conflicts.

I also appreciated the opportunity to present at the Virginia Psychological Association. I have tended to gravitate toward the national organization, and this was my first foray into the state association. The audience was great, and the people there were quite receptive to the presentation and seemed quite appreciative that the topic was covered the way it was.

Transgender Christians’ Experiences

This Thursday I’ll be co-presenting an interesting study I conducted with Trista Carr, a student in the Doctoral Program in Clinical Psychology at Regent. The study is interesting to me in part because it is the first one we’ve undertaken that has addressed the relationship between gender identity and religious identity. Specifically, it is a study of 32 self-identified Christians who also self-identified as biologically male but transgender. They provided information on their experiences with local churches, their relationship with God, their spouses, employers, and so on. They also shared ways in which religion was a coping resource. Some even shared how their struggle with gender identity concerns led to a strengthening of their personal faith as Christians.

Here is the abstract from the paper we’ll be presenting:

Though the experiences of transgender persons have been explored to some extent, very few scholars have delved into the relationship between gender identity as a trangender person and religious identity as a Christian. Therefore, the qualitative data described herein reflects the narratives of 32 transgender individuals who are biological males and identify as Christians. The study sought to bring some understanding of the events and processes that occur for this specific population. Although some participants indicated that their gender identity conflict led to a strengthening of their personal faith, others reported a past struggle – often with specific persons or church leadership – and some indicated that they moved away from organized religion in light of their conflict. Many participants in this study still identified religious coping activities tied to their faith tradition as sources of support during present difficulties. Participants also shared experiences with conflicts in their marriages and places of employment.

The study came about through a number of developments over the past several years. Some of those developments included providing consultations to families who were worried that their child might be gay. The children were often presenting with symptoms of Gender Identity Disorder, and some met criteria, while others had symptoms but were sub-threshold for the diagnosis. I’ve also worked with older adolescents and adults who identified as transgender and Christian and were asking for assistance with possible ways to manage their dysphoria and/or conflict with their religious beliefs and values. If you know someone who is transgender or if you’ve worked with this population, you may have a sense for how challenging it can be to fully understand the issues that are involved.

A few years ago I was also introduced by someone who identified as transgender and Christian to an online group of people with similar experiences. This led to the idea of possibly furthering my own understanding of their experiences (and the experiences of adults I’d worked with) by conducting an initial study of some of what they had been dealing with. I brought this idea to the Institute for the Study of Sexual Identity (ISSI), the research institute I work with at Regent, and Trista expressed interest in working on it, as did some of our other team members. So we got to work on developing a questionnaire, and we ran it by various members of the community for help with wording, etc. We announced the study through various avenues, and people were able to access it online and provide us with some of their experience with gender and religious identity issues. So the study is a first step, and I hope we are able to follow it up with additional studies that delve into other related areas, but it is a start.

The paper we’ll be presenting is titled, “Transgender Christians’ Experiences: A Qualitative Study.” It will be presented at the Virginia Psychological Association’s (VPA’s) spring convention this Thursday, April 22, from 4-5pm at the Norfolk Waterside Marriott.

CAPS Panel on Ethical Conflicts in Marital Therapy

Yesterday at the CAPS national conference I participated in a panel chaired by my colleague at Regent, Dr. Jennifer Ripley, on Ethics in Couples Interventions. The other panelists were Ev Worthington (Virginia Commonwealth University), Toddy Holeman (Asbury Seminary), and Bill Berman (Christian Family Institute). We had several interesting discussions on a range of topics in marriage therapy. The topics included use of forgiveness protocols, dealing with violence in relationships, confidentiality when working with couples, managed care and billing, and working with same-sex couples.

Ev Worthington discussed his work on forgiveness, and all of the panelists shared how they might introduce the concept of forgiveness, challenges when people come at forgiveness with different assumptions, distinguishing forgiveness from other concepts, such as reconciliation or exoneration, and so on. We also discussed a number of clinical issues, such as timing, the misuse of Scripture, etc.

On dealing with violence in relationships, we discussed again the potential misuse of Scripture to rationalize violence (as justified by some abusers to establish authority or maintain order), issues with the use of separation, what it means for the offender to repent, and so on.

The discussion about confidentiality recognized different models for handling it with couples: (1) not keeping secrets, (2) keeping secrets said in an individual session/phone, and (3) using clinical judgment about whether specific information is kept secret (but not promising to hold secrets). Emphasis was placed on working with the disclosing spouse to share information that the other spouse should know (that they themselves would want to know if their roles were reversed), as well as discerning when disclosing a secret is for the good of the marriage or to get a weight off of the disclosing spouse’s shoulders.

The managed care discussion centered on how to treat individual psychopathology in a marital context. One panelist discussed providing services individually with the other spouse present, while others discussed treating individual psychopathology systemically by improving the marital relationship. Still others discussed having couples pay out of pocket if there is no identifiable disorder that can be diagnosed.

In the discussion about Christian mental health professionals working with same-sex couples, the panelists reflected on the challenges some Christians have faced in whether or not to provide services, issues related to professional competence, and value conflicts. A few current cases were mentioned, including the Ward case at Eastern Michigan University. There was some disagreement among panelists on how Christians can (or should) respond to these issues, with one voice emphasizing more of the issue of religious rights and competence, while another voice emphasized value conflicts being normal and occasionally rising to the level of a referral. The panelists discussed different options for Christians in practice, as well as relevant training concerns and what is in the best interest of the client seeking services.