Chapter 5 of Lisa McMinn’s book, Sexuality and Holy Longing, is titled “Mysteries of Marriage: Bone of My Bone, Flesh of My Flesh.” A central and expanded section in the chapter is titled “Myths About Marital Sex.” In it she identifies five myths:
1. Marital sex is boring
2. Marriage is all about sex
3. Good women do not enjoy sex
4. Men are always ready, interested, and capable of sex
5. Good spouses are not attracted to others once they get married
McMinn then turns to the topic of how marriage and singleness reflect aspects of God’s love, which she views as “one of abundance” (p. 138).
Singles reflect the abundance of God’s love in the inclusive open way they can relate to everyone. To live with a view of scarcity is to focus on a moral restraint or need to sublimate the desire for genital sexual fulfillment rather than finding abundance in the freedome to love intimately and inclusively, recognizing they can give and receive more because of singleness. Married couples reflect God’s faithful covenantal love that puts down roots and grows deeply into multiple dimensions of abudant love with one person. [p. 138]
For reflection: Which myths stood out to you and why? How do you respond to the ways in which both married love and single love reflect dimensions of God’s abundant love?